My first ex went on to marry the woman he had an affair with and I, well, I walked right back into a lions’ den. Only this time, there were no drugs or alcohol to try and excuse the abusive behaviors. However, there were excuses. Ridiculous and lame as they were, they existed and were used…all the time.
Even as dense and immature as he was and is, my second husband used religion to control me. This was all new to me as I did not grow up religious in any way, shape or form. I didn’t recognize the buzz words that would clue me in to a path I didn’t wish to travel. I suppose this made me the perfect target for someone to control me using God and the Bible. Although I did visit churches throughout my youth, with friends and their families, I was never knowledgeable enough to recognize a sheep in wolves clothing. It took me many years to realize what was happening and by then, it was too late.
He wasn’t savvy or sly in his approach and delivery while grooming me.
However, he was quick and confident. A very scary combination.
Approx 4 months into our relationship, he began begging me to marry him. I initially said no and mostly because my gut was telling me “hell no” and my first divorce was not quite final. But he spent the next week or so saying and doing anything he could to convince me that “this one” would be different.
How right he was! Different is a major understatement!
I spoke with a few people who knew him, including his ex-girlfriend and her thought was that he was a total idiot or crazy and most definitely immature. Even her children and their dog hated him. All of which should have been enough to make me walk, no RUN away. But I didn’t. I instead saw this as a challenge. I even had a strange conversation with a good friend on the very night I met Jay. His name was Bryan and he made a bet with me that Jay was gay and he’d have him before I did! I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. As you will soon read, I won the bet!
Dang it Bryan! Why didn’t you try harder! LOL