Parental Alienation

I’ve looked at this issue many times and have actually witnessed this when I worked with CASA and sadly since then in one of my grown children.

There were many times, for the sake of my daughters and myself, I went to counselors with my ex. He was not emotionally mature enough to convince the therapists that he didn’t suffer with one or more psychosis. There was one therapist in particular who said “he believes everything he says and that unless he truly wants to change, they couldn’t help him”. It was after this one, I gave up.
When the girls were very young, I bought my ex a book about fathers raising daughters. I suppose I should have known better, but I figured since he constantly told me to read the Bible to live a holier life, that I could use the same reasoning and say, this could help you with the girls.
I could not have been more wrong. Not only did it not help him be a better father, it fueled his need to judge and criticize others who were also raising daughters.
Unbeknownst to me, he had gone to a few of the fathers, we knew, and spoke with them about this book and how they needed to buy it and apply it.
Incredible! I was shocked when their wives came to me and expressed their concerns. It was so disturbing that it caused these families to begin avoiding us.
His narcissistic behaviors never ceased and one of my daughters has actually avoided and rejected me for 9 years. No explanation. Prior to this, everything seemed fine between us and then one day she “disappeared”. I tried calling, texting and emailing. No response. I was certain something had happened to her so I sought the help of law enforcement to help me locate her. Once I knew where she was and that she seemed ok, I spoke with my oldest daughter and all she could say is that she’s dealing with a lot from the past and needs some time.
I made the mistake of sending my blog info to my youngest daughter recently in hopes that she would open her heart and mind so she can better understand what I’ve gone through with her father but unfortunately, it caused her to respond in a very hateful and accusing manner.
After all these years, I think I understand what has happened and although I’m saddened that our relationship has been robbed from us, I know that I need to move on and hope and pray she finds peace and happiness.
We aren’t born knowing how to one day be parents and much less perfect parents, however I do know I love my children and I did everything I could do to provide a better life than what I grew up with. Unfortunately, I allowed too much in to their lives and I know now that there was a lot more I could have done…like leave their father when they were young.

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