My Dad would have been 91 today. I miss him. Grieving the loss of a loved one is one of the toughest parts of our life’s journey. I’ve lost over 50 close friends and family members and I often wonder if I have ever fully grieved all of them. I’m not sure if there will ever be enough time.
I have counseled as well as been counseled in regards to loss and the one thing that stands out, for me, is that no matter who it is, I try to focus on celebrating their life. Even so, I rarely have a dry eye.
As I write this, I feel the pain in my chest, wishing my Dad were here. I miss talking with him about anything. He was my “go to man” for everything from household fix it jobs to talking about his granddaughters, whom he loved so very much. My Dad was one of the most knowledgeable tradesmen I’ve ever known and ironically, my husband is an incredible tradesman as well. They would have been as close as two peas in a pod. I would have loved watching them interact and challenging one another in every project they embarked on together.
While I’m remembering the good times, it’s difficult to try and squash the negatives however, they were and are still alive in my heart and mind, but today is a day of celebration of a life, mostly lived well.
He was a WWII vet and he had a huge heart for vets. Every month, he would cook breakfast at the VFW or the Moose Lodge for all the vets who wanted or needed a hot meal. I remember, as a child, helping him by serving some of the meals. All the guys were nice and funny and they’d call me Herby’s lil helper. I loved it.
My Dad was an amazing cook. He could make something out of almost nothing and make it taste like a gourmet meal. Even to this day, I’m still trying to recreate the meals he made for me. I suppose mine will never taste as his did, but I will, in his memory continue to try.
The good, bad and the ugly memories are always acceptable to remember and with them, I hope to help those who have experienced the worst in relationships and also help them to honor the ones who’ve left a huge hole in their hearts.
Always remember, our happiness comes from our thoughts. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to love even through pain.